The Day After The Bomb Dropped...



 

I am not a person who gets depressed easily, I rarely am in such a funk I can't function, but OH GOOD GOSH Thursday was THAT kind of day....



I got up that morning just exhausted, my kiddos came down to get ready for school and by this time only my eldest knew what was going on. The night before I had pulled just him aside, at 17 he understood what all was happening and was scared, sad and really worried. So I joked with him to get him in a better place before school. Inside I was just literally going though motions that I did every day. I kissed each one goodbye before they headed off, again, a normal ritual, but today after they all left I broke into sobs. It was still all overwhelming. Then, it would all just stop. So I sat  on my couch just strolling though Facebook or playing games on my iPad. Trying hard not to think about things. Then my phone would ring and this awesome picture of my oldest and youngest at home would greet me and the overwhelming sadness of the situation would again arise. I tried HARD to keep it all together, I didn't want to worry anyone more than the words "I have cancer" put there. I had to call and tell my dad the news yet. I dreaded that call, but yet it had to be done. I don't wish on ANYONE to have to tell their parents that they have advanced stage cancer. My dad's voice said it all and he tried had to be strong but I knew how scared he was, I hated that call... It killed me to do that to him. I hated making all the calls and really didn't want to talk with anyone as people called to see if I was ok. I felt bad but it was just too much all at once and I didn't even know for myself how I was actually doing. My overwhelming response to everyone was "God has this" and to remember I was incredibly stubborn and strong, that in all my years, the trials and successes, God had been there and carried me through and yet again that WAS going to happen. I have to admit although deep in my heart I knew this, on this day I didn't have complete confidence backing that statement.

I looked up stats regarding stage 3c ovarian cancer, 40% 5 year survival rate really didn't help things. I have 6 kiddos, a husband, an awesome family and tremendous friends. I couldn't believe those were my odds of being around to see all my kiddos grow up. 4 are adopted, how was me not being there going to effect them? My one biological baby, I couldn't believe there was a possibility that I wouldn't see how he turned out, he looks so much like me. It just made me so overwhelmingly sad and frustrated. Stats are dynamic and not static so first off I knew those could be changed. So I started looking up what oil protocols were out there. I mean I had 2 weeks until I had just the surgery to get started on oils that could potentially help me right? So I just searched as many places as I could to find what oils were beneficial. I already was aware of Frankincense because there had just had a very new study published online that was showing promise against late stage ovarian cancer. The problem for me was that most protocols called for quite a bit of oils to be ingested and that just wasn't what I wanted to do. I was OK with a little yet I knew I was going to be doing chemo and the nausea factor was there so I kept searching.

Then I got a private message from my step mother in law. There was a lot more to it but one part stuck out. She had been praying in her car after hearing from us heard, yes heard, "She will not die from this"... I believed that statement. I honestly had no reason to question it. God brought us back closer to home just months before I found out. God had this nagging feeling going that I needed to get in to get the pain checked. God had this, he just did.

I kept searching for how I could go about helping my body to deal with this crappy diagnosis and found that Frankincense, along with the cellular repair blend (Frankincense, wild orange peel, lemongrass leaf, thyme leaf, summer savory plant and niaouli leaf essential oils) had shown the most promise when put in a petri dish against cancer cells. I wanted to keep it simple. I kept seeing such complex "protocols" and that was too much for me right at this time so keeping it simple was do-able. I mixed up some Frankincense 1:1 with avocado oil for it's thicker coverrage properties and then put it in a big roller bottle. I rubbed that on and then added the cellular repair blend oil on top of the avocado oil and frank because I knew it sometimes irritated my skin. I rubbed that in and took two of the cellular repair softgels (which is a normal recommendation for that supplement) and decided that was going to be my trial. I was going to see if doing just that and my vitamin supplements could make a difference. Morning I did the oils, softgels and my vitamins then at noon, at night I would just do the oils. It wasn't going to hurt anything and if I got some positive results, all the better right? Chemo was already going to happen so what if I could get a jump start helping my body to mend itself? I am one who likes a plan so having one helped.

I had an oils class that night that I chose not to cancel, so I got everyone in the house fed and off to reading and then put everything together for the class. It got me up and active since I really hadn't left the couch all day. I figured this would be a good way to do so. The girls that came were SO fun and we did the class. I told them what I had just found out and asked that they didn't make a big deal about it. Those girls turned around and went back to class stuff like nothing had just been said. I couldn't help but smile, it was a turning point for me that I will never forget. They even helped set the next class date (because they didn't want to miss the next month's class making DIY Christmas gifts) for 2 days before my surgery. I was completely up for it, why not have fun before all that mess?

It was this day that taught me that God had me in his arms and all my sadness could be taken, I could give it to him and trust him fully to get me through this and that stats CAN be changed and I was going to be one of those that did it for the positive.

- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13

Disclaimer: Please understand that this information is for educational purposes only. I am a mom, I am not a doctor, I enjoy passing on the knowledge I have learned in doing these types of projects and through my research. The statements made here have not been approved by the Food and Drug Administration and they are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure or prevent any disease. Don’t take my word for it…you should always engage conventional wisdom and consult with your medical professional to determine potential drug interactions and safety of use. Always when using essential oils for a medical condition or if on prescribed or over the counter drugs, seek advice from a medical professional (DR./PA/NP/Naturopath/pharmacist) on whether the oils will cause potential adverse reactions. 

These practices are what work for me and my family, if you chose to take and use them I encourage you take my research and do some of your own prior to using the tips I give. While I do a lot of research when putting these posts out it generally fits into what I would do with and for my family. If you have specific issues, allergies or conditions these practices may not work or may be detrimental to what you are intending to do for yourself. Again, I encourage wisdom and discussions with your healthcare provider to determine safe use of all posts that I provide that can be used for health reasons. 

Let's Start At The Beginning, Shall We?

Let me start off by saying this is my story of my current journey through dealing with stage 3c ovarian cancer. Everyone is different and some of what I am using as far as oils may not work for everyone, nor a I implying it should. I have been asked many times about my story and so this is my way to share with others. I am also not a medical professional. This isn't medical advice but more my personal journey and sharing what has been successful during that.

Also, note that I am keeping the brand of oils I am using out of this blog. Trust me when I say I am using quality oils that aren't from Amazon (I LOVE Amazon and started with oils from there but switched because of lack of assurance they were authentic and quality assurance). I do have my email listed on this blog if you are curious, but other than that I want people to hear and be encouraged by my story, not feeling like this is a sales pitch for a brand of oils. You will notice that any blend I mention will have the oils in it listed in order from the bottle as a resource. This isn't a place I want people to feel the need to sell their brands, this again is my story and I left my brand out on purpose to keep this a place where my story can be told.

With all that said let's get to what brought me to the blogging side of telling my journey turning cancer from a tragedy to a celebration of God, my faith, family, friends and, yes, oils...

November 12th is that date that will now forever stick with me. It was a Wednesday and after a month of dealing with abdominal pain and FINALLY going in to see my nurse practitioner (OH how I hate going in to be seen...) I was scheduled for a contrast CT. I got to the appointment on time, it was early morning so that took a bit of work being I had 5 children to get up and out of the house to school. I got there and found out that I still had an hour wait as I sat there drinking this "water" for the CT. I texted my best friend Mary throughout that whole hour complaining that this really could have been done at home and how the fake sugar was upsetting my stomach. FINALLY I got in and they did the CT scan, they hurried me out and on my way, which at the time I was glad about but it didn't quite click until afterward why...

I quickly made it over to Costco after the CT Scan and got JUST about to check out when I got the call, it was my nurse practitioner and she needed to see me as soon as possible. I tried hard to get information out of her but couldn't get anything more concrete than "yes, this isn't good news and if you want your husband here, bring him". My heart sank and I still had to check out. I looked around and wondered if anyone else could see the tears or fear I felt. I got out and tried my husband but I knew he was unavailable for most of the day. So I headed 20 minutes back to the clinic praying and called Mary for support.

I sat there as the nurse practitioner told me the results of the CT scan showed ovarian cancer that had spread into the abdomen and possibly on my liver and lymph nodes. I was so numb other than realizing liver and lymph node involvement was DEFINITELY not what I wanted to hear. I listened to her and we went through all the tests we had done before to see if ANYTHING gave a hint to this. But I had already known, something had told me to go in, something had been nagging at me that this could be cancer... I realized then that God had put it in my heart to go in and thankfully I listened because this story could have turned out much different had I not.

So by this time my husband had called and was on his way home to grab my kiddos after school.I had to go back up and see the oncologist my nurse practitioner had made an appointment with. Everything just seemed to lead to something else, and now the fact I was going to see a oncologist the same day I found out I had cancer was SO overwhelming. I kissed my husband and had him say a prayer before I left to head out to the appointment. The whole way I just prayed that I could have the strength and that things weren't as dark as they seemed.

It's almost surreal those moments sitting and waiting to get called back, the oncologist was a gynecological oncologist so I was sitting in with pregnant women waiting to get checked and eagerly awaiting the birth of a new life and then there were some of us there for cancer. That just didn't seem right, I should have been there on the "other side" excited and hopeful and yet here I was just hoping the news wasn't a timeline of the rest of my life, ending in months rather than years...

The doctor was a bit awkward, just something about him was off for me, his nurse practitioner on the other hand was warm and very friendly so I concentrated on her. After a very uncomfortable exam I got dressed and headed to his office where he liked to talk so it was more comfortable. He told me then that I had stage 3c ovarian cancer that had metastasized to the greater omentum (the lining covering your intestines and internal organs), bowel, bladder and possibly some other areas. The good news was he didn't think the liver was effected and that's what kept me at the staging I was at. He wanted surgery to happen right away and chemo to start after I healed from the surgery. He told me he wanted to do 2 kinds of chemo therapy one IV, the other IP or Intraperitoneal  directly into the abdomen which had the best outcomes. He didn't give me stats or what this all meant for my future but did say they had the best outcomes with that treatment. I agreed to it, it took all of the time we talked to know I was going to do EVERYTHING I could to be here in the future for my family. I always thought I would go a more natural route until I was placed into this position. My decision was easy. So I headed across the hall where the nurse practitioner was sitting with Nurse Kathy who coordinated all the treatments. At the time Nurse Kathy was friendly but very regimented in handing me papers with surgical instructions and the fact I wouldn't see anyone before the surgery day was new to me. They wanted thanksgiving but I knew I needed that time with family to pray and just go over everything so it went to the next week. I was so numb and overwhelmed and now had a stack of papers with instructions for a surgery that scared me more than anything. I have NEVER had surgery, been in them during paramedic training and throughout my career a lot but never was that me laying on the table. Looking back now I feel bad for the anger and stubbornness I felt as Nurse Kathy handed me everything. She really didn't mean to come off as cold but at the time it was tough to find the compassion I needed right at that point. I felt very alone and not able to process everything properly and didn't have the comfort level with them to ask all I wanted to know about timelines so even though Nurse Kathy told me many times to call with questions, and I had quite a few in the coming days just about timelines, I didn't feel comfortable enough to call and ask.

I went home broken, scared, crying, praying... I called a few people to let them know what was happening and hoping that saying it would somehow change things. I was embarrassed, I am rarely EVER sick and now I was telling people I had cancer. Something about that made it so incredibly personal and hard to say. My life stopped for that day and yet the day kept going... hard to explain but that's how this all started.


Disclaimer: Please understand that this information is for educational purposes only. I am a mom, I am not a doctor, I enjoy passing on the knowledge I have learned in doing these types of projects and through my research. The statements made here have not been approved by the Food and Drug Administration and they are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure or prevent any disease. Don’t take my word for it…you should always engage conventional wisdom and consult with your medical professional to determine potential drug interactions and safety of use. Always when using essential oils for a medical condition or if on prescribed or over the counter drugs, seek advice from a medical professional (DR./PA/NP/Naturopath/pharmacist) on whether the oils will cause potential adverse reactions. 

These practices are what work for me and my family, if you chose to take and use them I encourage you take my research and do some of your own prior to using the tips I give. While I do a lot of research when putting these posts out it generally fits into what I would do with and for my family. If you have specific issues, allergies or conditions these practices may not work or may be detrimental to what you are intending to do for yourself. Again, I encourage wisdom and discussions with your healthcare provider to determine safe use of all posts that I provide that can be used for health reasons.